SOS: Sexy Dilemma
by KireiHana1997
Summary: It's another day in the life of the SOS Brigade, and Haruhi has yet again reminded the group of their need for more members. Her solution? Sexy lingerie.


On a bright, sunny day, five high school students gathered in an old clubroom on campus. One girl sat by the window, silently reading the book placed in her lap while another stood on a desk with her hands on her hips, demanding the attention of her fellow club members. Her whiskey-colored eyes sparked with irritation and her shoulder-length brown hair swayed as she began to gesticulate wildly.

"How do you expect this club to run with a measly five members?" The girl glanced around the room as if expecting a brilliant answer. Her eyes landed on one of the two boys in the room. "Kyon! What's your idea?" she snapped.

A boy with short, messy brown hair looked up from the card game he was playing with the other boy and rolled his eyes skeptically. "I wasn't aware that-"

"Well, you should be more aware!"

"Ah, Suzumiya?"

Haruhi looked down from her perch on the desk at the boy who had spoken, eying him like a hawk does a mouse.

"This better be good, Itsuki."

Itsuki Koizumi, a tall boy with medium length light brown hair and a perpetual smile, put down his cards and stood to speak.

"Well, you, Asahina, and Nagato are all attractive girls."

At the sound of her name, the shy Mikuru Asahina looked at Koizumi and blushed, then glanced at Haruhi and her expression turned slightly worried. Yuki Nagato, the girl at the window, paid no mind to the conversation and simply continue her reading.

Haruhi cocked her head to one side. "What's your point?"

Koizumi cleared his throat. "I was thinking that perhaps we could attract more members with posters. You girls could be our models. Maybe you could dress up in something nice." Koizumi turned to Kyon. "What do you think?"

Kyon shrugged. "Sure, I guess it could work."

Haruhi looked pensive for a moment as she lightly tapped a finger on her lips. Then she suddenly leaped off the desk and grabbed a surprised Mikuru by the sleeve of her uniform. "I've got it," She cried, "To the lingerie store!" She started dragging a struggling Mikuru towards the door. "Yuki! You come too!"

Yuki put down her book and quietly followed the club leader as Mikuru began to cry.

"L-l-lingerie?" Her face turned redder than her hair as she tried futilely to get away.

"Boys," Haruhi began, "start working on those posters while we're away." She pointed a menacing finger at the two. "Don't even think about slacking off!"

Kyon stared in pity as an excited Haruhi dragged Mikuru out the door and slammed it shut, muffling the cries. "How are we supposed to start on the posters if we don't even have the pictures yet?"

Kyon sighed, and Koizumi moved around the table to sit next to him and placed a companionable hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure we'll think of something to do."

Kyon sighed again and looked wistfully at the door. Koizumi noticed his expression and smiled to himself before he commented, "You like her, don't you?"

Kyon looked surprised for a moment, then simply grunted and rolled his eyes. Koizumi scooted his chair closer and angled himself to look at Kyon's face. "You can tell me."

Kyon turned his head away and tried his best to pretend the other boy wasn't in the room. Koizumi, not willing to give up, scooted closer to Kyon yet again and placed a hand on his thigh. Kyon looked down at Koizumi's hand and up again, then went back to pretending he didn't exist. Koizumi leaned in close to Kyon's ear and whispered, "You can trust me."

Kyon scowled and said, "Do you need to be so close?"

Kyon playfully rubbed Kyon's thigh and said, "Got you to acknowledge me, didn't it?" He flashed his pleasant smile.

Kyon scoffed and said, "Yeah, okay. I like her. Now leave me alone."

Koizumi sat back with a satisfied look on his face. "Now, that wasn't so hard." Kyon just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.  
"So what do you like about her?" Koizumi asked, propping his left elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand.

"...Stuff."

Koizumi lifted his right hand and began walking his fingers along Kyon's shoulder. "Now _that_ is neither descriptive nor honest." He tilted his head a fraction. "What kind of 'stuff'?"

Just as Koizumi's fingers almost reached his ear, Kyon batted them away in annoyance. "Just stuff, okay?" However, at Koizumi's unfaltering smile, Kyon sighed. "I think she's sweet." Koizumi motioned with his hands for Kyon to continue. "And she has big...eyes."

"Uh-huh," Koizumi his his hands in front of his chest to indicate a rather gifted woman, "eyes."

Kyon scowled, but then he chucked and a light blush came to his cheeks. "Yeah, that too."

Koizumi reached over, ruffled Kyon's hair and said, "You'd be crazy not to."

"Stop it!" Kyon said irritably as he jerked his head away, but he couldn't help the small smile that played at lips. He chuckled a bit to himself, then he glanced over at Koizumi and met his eyes, the grin spreading across his face.

"You know, I think that's the first time you've smiled at me." Koizumi said, obviously pleased. "I was beginning to think you didn't like me."

"I _don't_ like you." Kyon scoffed.

"You don't?"

"No, I don't."

Koizumi stood and moved around Kyon to kneel in front of him, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Not even a little?"

Kyon scowled down at him, but then had to look away. He stared intently at the wall. "Alright, maybe a little." he mumbled.

Koizumi's usual pleasant smile lit up his face again. "How much?" He used one finger to toy with the button of Kyon's slacks.

Kyon's hands immediately shot down to cover his nethers. "What the hell do you thi-"

Just as Kyon was leaning down to pry Koizumi off him, the taller boy simply lifted his head and pressed his lips to Kyon's. Kyon's first reaction was to pull back, but the clever Koizumi was quick to trap the hands he'd had guarding his crotch and held him in place. Kyon struggled to pull back but realized he could not free his arms. In a last-ditch effort, he tried to stand up; however, this only resulted in him clumsily toppling backward over the chair, taking a laughing Koizumi with him. They landed in a tangle of limbs on the floor, Koizumi planted on top of Kyon.

"My, I didn't know you were so eager!" Koizumi said, still laughing.

"I'm not," Kyon screamed, "get off me!"

"You might want to keep your voice down. You wouldn't want anyone to come in and find us like this, would you?" Koizumi's smile was still in place, but a devilish gleam had come to his eyes.

Kyon grunted and moved to push Koizumi off of him. But Koizumi, again, was quicker and clasped Kyon's wrists while he planted his knees on his thighs to keep him from kicking. "We can't have any of that, now." he said pleasantly.

"Get off me!" Kyon growled.

"I thought you said you liked me."

"Not like _that_!" Kyon cried, exasperated. Koizumi just kept smiling and maneuvered to hold Kyon's wrists in his left hand while using his right to tug Kyon's shirt out of his pants. Kyon squirmed against the grip. "What if the girls come back?" he asked, desperation weaving its way into his voice.

"You know Suzumiya; she loves stripping Asahina down and sticking her in skimpy little outfits. They'll be at it for hours." Koizumi could sense Kyon's heightened adrenaline at the mention of the shy redhead in very little clothing. A wicked grin touched his lips. "Just think of what you're missing out on: the dressing, the undressing. Those lovely, supple breasts of hers heaving as she tries to escape Suzumiya's ever-groping hands, roaming all over her smooth, delicate body. Do you think she enjoys it?" As Kyon's breath began to quicken, he lowered his voice, speaking in a low, silky tone as if in conspiracy, "She sure doesn't fight very hard. She's probably filled with a sick excitement at the thought of what Suzumiya will make her do next...in a public place, no less! Just imagine what she'd let Suzumiya do to her in a dressing room. What they're probably doing _right now._" He let the last words trail off as he pressed his free hand to Kyon's awakening bulge.

Kyon panicked as he realized exactly what Koizumi was doing. He narrowed his eyes. "That's a dirty trick."

Koizumi just smiled. "But it's working."

"I'm not gay."

"Pretend I'm Mikuru." Koizumi said simply. "You're _not_ getting out of this until I get what I want."

Kyon's eyes widened in fear. "W-what do you want, exactly?"

"You."

"That is not descriptive, but it is honest."

Koizumi laughed. "As honest as it gets. Now give me what I want." His tone softened a bit as he leaned forward to look directly in Kyon's eyes. "You have nothing to worry about, and I promise not to tell."

Kyon's face turned red as he looked away, saying nothing. Koizumi took this as a cue to do as he pleased. He released Kyon's wrists, and the other boy covered his face with an embarrassed groan. Koizumi's deft hands quickly unfastened Kyon's pants and tugged them and his underwear to his knees. As Kyon's bare skin touched the floor, he shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was from the cool surface or anticipation. He tried to convince himself it was the former, but in the back of his mind, he knew he was fooling himself. Koizumi wasted no time in taking Kyon into his mouth. Kyon, his hands still covering his face, envisioned the shy Mikuru performing this most intimate of deeds. As Koizumi circled his tongue around the head of Kyon's penis, Kyon groaned again, but this time less out of embarrassment and more in enjoyment. He involuntarily began to buck his hips and slowly lowered his hands from his face to rest on the back of Koizumi's head. Without even realizing what he was doing, he began to guide Koizumi into moving faster. The other boy happily obliged by taking him deeper and sucking harder. Kyon's fingers threaded through Koizumi's hair as he felt a pressure building up inside him, and his grip tightened as it reached the breaking point.

"You guys better not be screwing around!"

The door swung open to reveal Haruhi with her hands on her hips, a sniffling Mikuru and a silent Yuki flanking her.

Koizumi pulled back in surprise, and at that moment, Kyon arched off the floor and climaxed with an unintelligible cry, shooting his seed all over Koizumi's shocked face.

The girls stood in the doorway in stunned silence, until Mikuru let out a sob and ran down the hall. Kyon came to his senses at the sound of Mikuru's voice and turned his head to stare at their audience. He thought to himself, _Shit._

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**I originally wrote this thing at like 6:00 AM with no sleep, so it was riddled with typos. I went back and fixed it, so hopefully it's a little less sloppy now.**

**If I get enough positive feedback on this, I just may write up a second installment. We'll see. ;D  
**


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